<strike>Candies in unmarked vans in the middle of nowhere?</strike> Nice feel, the desaturation works well here. Great work.
I think it's ok. The problems that pop out at me are - • the flow is messy and somewhat random. • Everything's sharp, so the focul is somewhat weakened. • It's black on the left and white on the right, looks odd. Other than that, it looks good. You're on to something. ^_^ You keep getting better, keep at it!
I like the first one the most, I feel like just some splashes of color would rly give it some life ^_^