The focus is split in too many places. Take out the C4D at the top right. Work on your lighting a bit, and perhaps your overall color. Put the light blue and light pink penciling(or brushing) closer to his glasses.
the blue circle doesn't fit...and i'm not crazy about the colours... it's like...a newb couldn't have done it, but it's not very pretty. I think the best way i can put it is that you lost how visually pleasing it is by trying to be to artistic. oR sUmfINg.