Damn dude, I love it. Nothing I can say to change it for sure. . . CAN I STEAL IT? Rofl Just Kiddin'.
Its nice technically but it really lacks any 'wow' effect. The thing i find worse about this peice is the floating head syndrome. Theres nothing happening and its allover very static. But with that said it is a very nice peice with some great effects and focal work.
I'd like to see you integrate the focal on part 2/5 or 4/5 and not in the middle, it's better composition-wise. Also avoid floating head, I can't see the rest of the body which really brings it down imo.