Men's Rules (for Women To Learn!)

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by RagnaroK, Nov 23, 2005.

  1. RagnaroK

    RagnaroK Senior Member

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    Hey there, everyone back from the time crash? Well just be happy, i got something here that i found that'll provide you as a laugh :D

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    Men's Rules (that women should know)

    1. Women, learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

    2. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not considered by us to be opportunities to see if we can find the perfect present . . . . again!

    3. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

    4. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

    5. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

    6. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

    7. We don't remember dates. . . .Period!!

    8. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

    9. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

    10. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

    11. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

    12. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

    13. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

    14. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We've been tricked before!!

    15. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

    16. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

    17. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

    18. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

    19. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.

    20. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.

    21. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

    22. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

    23. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

    24. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

    25. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

    26. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

    27. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what they're saying anyway.)

    28. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
     
  2. mysticf1re

    mysticf1re Well-Known Member

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    lol thats a good one. gav me a good laugh
     
  3. System-M3

    System-M3 Well-Known Member

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    lmbao nice....wth is mauve newayz? i neva heard of it!!
     
  4. dbz rocks

    dbz rocks Well-Known Member

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    lmao that brilliant man
     
  5. Ice92888

    Ice92888 Well-Known Member

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    Those are really good, sure did brighten up my day.
     
  6. RagnaroK

    RagnaroK Senior Member

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    lmbao nice....wth is mauve newayz? i neva heard of it!! [/b][/quote]
    Mauve is like a little light purply color :P

    Thx for the compliments everyone ^_^ i'll post more funny things i find :D
     
  7. Gurly

    Gurly Well-Known Member

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    Rules For Men

    1. The Female always makes The Rules.

    2. The Rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.

    3. No Male can possibly know all The Rules.

    4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all The Rules, she must immediately change some or all of The Rules.

    5. The Female is never wrong.

    6. If the Female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the Male did or said wrong.

    7. If Rule 6 applies, the Male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.

    8. The Female can change her mind at any given point in time.

    9. The Male must never change his mind without express written consent from the Female.

    10. The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.

    11. The Male must remain calm at all times, unless the Female wants him to be angry or upset.

    12. The Female must under no circumstances let the Male know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.
     
  8. kirbir

    kirbir Senior Member

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    hahaha nice girly :D :lol:

    Thats sounds about right :wub:
     
  9. Trax

    Trax Well-Known Member

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    You guys stole it from offtopicz.com or 2funny.com rite?
     
  10. Greasy Pete

    Greasy Pete Senior Member

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    ahah some funny stuff. Girlys post wasnt funny.
     
  11. sandergfx

    sandergfx Well-Known Member

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    i like RagnaroK's post better then Girly's :P haha nice one
     
  12. XxTotalchaos17xX

    XxTotalchaos17xX Well-Known Member

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    No it wasn't lol.. it seemed a little defensive. :lol:
     
  13. Youngblood

    Youngblood Well-Known Member

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    first post is awesome and it's all true
     
  14. RIP Rafter

    RIP Rafter Well-Known Member

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    Those rules are so true...Every one of em...
     
  15. Bona Fide

    Bona Fide Well-Known Member

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    Nice try on the retaliation there Girly ;)
     

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