Not bad, just needs work. Biggest things I've seen is your flow, composition, and focal use. Try to add a general direction to your tag for emphasis, or a flow. A good set of effects that compliment the tag, or composition. And to bring out the idea or focal of your piece. Another thing to remember is to not place effects over your render, some effects work, but not effects like those in the last one. KIU man hope to see more from you!
