http://dump.stoleyour.net/uploads/74fb652842.jpg http://dump.stoleyour.net/uploads/e6d7fe9dd3.jpg C&C
i'd recommend increasing the dof and contrast and maybe messing around with the coloring a bit make it a bit more interesting its a good pic, its just the kind of thing youd see in a scrapbook rather than a good standalone photo
I'd brighten up the skin a bit. It looks like it was taken on a cloudy day or in the shade and needs a bit more contrast. And Beatty is correct, a shallower DoF would probably make it better. The shoulder is a bit distracting, and with a shallow DoF, it would be a bit less so. Black and white one looks better imho. But the main issue I think is that you went and just removed all the saturation. For a good B&W conversion you need to mess with the color channels to add contrast. B&W is all about showing contrast Nice shot, good framing . Rule of thirds pwnz.
