Chemistry Student Explains Hell in a Exam

Discussion in 'Spam Heaven' started by Hitman H94, Jun 17, 2010.

  1. Hitman H94

    Hitman H94 Well-Known Member

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    The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term.

    The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :


    Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

    Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

    One student, however, wrote the following:

    First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

    Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

    This gives two possibilities:

    1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

    2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell,then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

    So which is it?

    If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'


    THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.
     
  2. dinges

    dinges Senior Member

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    read it before
    still awesome
     
  3. xlink

    xlink GR's Tech Enthusiast

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    so full of win.
     
  4. nickpwned

    nickpwned Well-Known Member

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    LOL thats awesome!
     
  5. Majin

    Majin Senior Member

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    Seen it before, but still awesome =]
     
  6. Greasy Pete

    Greasy Pete Senior Member

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    haha never seen it. just awesome
     
  7. inverse

    inverse Banned from GR

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    The answer is funny, by why the hell would there be a question about Hell on a Chemistry exam? Literally anything you said could be correct since it's imaginary.
     
  8. natsymoon

    natsymoon Banned from GR

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    Maybe the fact that most of us assumes that Hell is "Fire" and heat, but in other beliefs such as in the bible, that hell is pitch black, and you can feel that your body is being devoured by maggots forever, and ever...

    I can't remember what verse you can find this information...but it sure is scary when you think about it.
     
  9. inverse

    inverse Banned from GR

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    But why would stuff in the Bible be on a Chemistry test? It makes no sense.
     
  10. dementia

    dementia Well-Known Member

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    There isn't a verse in Christian/Catholic bibles which describe Hell in any other way than a place where God doesn't exist. The rest is left up to your imagination and the media.
     
  11. Kay87

    Kay87 Well-Known Member

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    seen it before and still very awesome
     
  12. JacobCampbell

    JacobCampbell Active Member

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    Yeah, thats great! I think time has come to include in schools a new subject about Hell/Heaven. Not like in Catholic school, just subject where this concepts will be considered from a scientific point of view
     
  13. inverse

    inverse Banned from GR

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    You have to be kidding, right? Along with the conceptual study of the scientific points of view on unicorns and Valhalla, right? Any study of religious concepts is a clear breach of the First Amendment. I'm always surprised at how readily Americans are to throw away the First Amendment. I wish we had something like that in NZ. All through primary (elementary to you amerifags) school we had to do Bible in Schools, which was essentially just christian indoctrination funded by the government.
     
  14. Ravenwings

    Ravenwings Well-Known Member

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    Seen it before, but win answer is still win. XD
     
  15. 1Tim3

    1Tim3 Well-Known Member

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    I have to agree with you about the study of fictitious things. But on the study of religious concepts is a bit off. The only schools that can't teach those classes are public schools k-12. But if you go to a private school, say for instance a private catholic school, they do teach religion and I bet you can guess which one it is too. Then if you graduate and wish to further your education say at an university, I bet all the money in your pockets against all the money in my pockets that you can take a class on religion if you so desire.
     

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