"apprantly Im Not Having Sex Tonight"

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by zelda 64, Oct 4, 2005.

  1. zelda 64

    zelda 64 Well-Known Member

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    I saw this on another forum so I had to share it!!

    I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
    much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing(a book which describes men and women). I have
    never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

    FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

    Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says
    "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

    I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

    So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

    "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for
    me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my
    puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am
    and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

    Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

    The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
    her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
    unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
    several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to
    take so I told her we'd just buy them all.

    She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a
    pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she
    picked out a pair of diamond earrings.

    Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one
    wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because
    she asked for a tennis bracelet (a pure diamond braclet worn when playing tennis)when she doesn't even know how to play
    tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
    She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
    Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
    dear, let's go to the cashier."

    I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

    Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?"

    I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're
    just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to
    satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this
    look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me
    for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

    Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.
     
  2. Meca Styles

    Meca Styles Well-Known Member

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    Lmao. Good one dude =D
     
  3. J e t c o m

    J e t c o m Well-Known Member

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    hahaha



    .
     
  4. Carmon

    Carmon Well-Known Member

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    Rofl Good one! :D
     
  5. BiG_Dave

    BiG_Dave Well-Known Member

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    rofl, ok... i could use this one with my girl...Haha!
     
  6. Honor.

    Honor. Well-Known Member

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    lol dave imaginary girls dont count :P

    now on topic ROFL nice.
     
  7. Sly as hell

    Sly as hell Well-Known Member

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    Great post. Saw it another forum as well. ;)
     
  8. thoth243

    thoth243 Well-Known Member

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    LOL she got owned
     
  9. dvx

    dvx Well-Known Member

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    Very nice comeback. One of the best I've heard.
     
  10. MIKE13

    MIKE13 Well-Known Member

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    wow thats hilarious man good post
     
  11. Kazuya

    Kazuya Senior Member

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    AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! AAAAAAWWWWW HILARIOUS - THATS GREAT MAN GOT ME LAUGHIN' LIKE SEVERAL MONKEYS :lol:
     
  12. iPhenom

    iPhenom Well-Known Member

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    LMAO.. that is funny, that would of been a nice expersion on her face.
     
  13. Youngblood

    Youngblood Well-Known Member

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    PWNED, OWNED, DEMOLISHED, she got hit :lol:
     
  14. Bona Fide

    Bona Fide Well-Known Member

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    It's called karma, and it goes around. ;)
     
  15. dja

    dja Well-Known Member

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    Lol, haha. Nice find :)

    Bit of spamming there Bona Fide :blink:

    lol

    dja
     

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