A Few Jokes

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Sneaky, Mar 13, 2006.

  1. Sneaky

    Sneaky Well-Known Member

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    I saw this chick kicking a can down teh rooad so i stopped to say, why are you kickin that can down the road, she says...


    im moving.




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    Chuck norris has counted to infinity.....twice


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    Chucks Norris's tears, happen to cure cancer, but the bad part is he never cries :{

    Merged Post:


    I also have another joke but its about helen keller but its kinda mean :|
     
  2. OmegaZero

    OmegaZero Well-Known Member

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    Chuck Norris Facts

    All the facts from Chuck Norris LOL
    That's enough to laugh one day
     
  3. VenomousDuck

    VenomousDuck Well-Known Member

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  4. .360

    .360 Well-Known Member

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    Ill think of some now..
     
  5. Phaze_

    Phaze_ Well-Known Member

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    That was the only decent one in my opinion, the other ones were really dull and made me wanna shoot myself... but heres my fav. chuck norris joke... lol, i laugh every time.

    Chuck Norris was once watching the movie "Bambi" with his five year old son. When the lovable Bambi was shot, his son began to cry. Chuck stood up, and in a fit of rage yelled, "Chuck Norris doesn't raise ------s. Do I have to round house kick you back into your mother's womb?" After his son shook his head, Chuck sat back down on the couch. Just when everything seemed calm, he executed one of his infamous no look punches on his son and then yelled, "Sneak attack, bitch."

    Nother fav. is...

    Chuck Norris once saw a commercial for Tricks Cereal, when he heard the kids say, "Silly rabbit, Tricks are for kids!", he got very angry and walked around his neighbourhood twice, roundhouse kicking every kid he saw in the face while saying, "Tricks are for Chuck Norris."
     
  6. Phoenix43

    Phoenix43 Well-Known Member

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    Haha!

    Nice.

    I love those Chuck Norris jokes. :D
     
  7. BeatdownT

    BeatdownT Well-Known Member

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    i never understood chuck norris jokes lol
     
  8. DefaultVoid

    DefaultVoid Well-Known Member

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    Strange jokes... I have one... Oh no wiat... They are too racist too put... Can I put one? It's kinda mean to Jews
     
  9. Tvmorbid

    Tvmorbid Well-Known Member

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    Not so much a joke, but funny nonetheless :)

    Who's Your Daddy?

    The following are all replies that British women have put on Child Support Agency forms in the section for listing father's details. These are genuine excerpts from the forms:

    01. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins; child A was fathered by Jim Munson. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of child B, but I believe that he was conceived on the same night.

    02. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.

    03. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party at 3600 Grand Avenue, where I had unprotected sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father can you send me his phone number? Thanks.

    04. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he's had it replaced.

    05. I have never had sex with a man. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son's conception was immaculate and that he is Christ risen again.

    06. I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad, as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the British economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country. Please advise.

    07. I do not know who the father of my child was as all squaddies look the same to me. I can confirm that he was a Royal Green Jacket.

    08. Peter Smith is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs?

    09. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Euro Disney maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom.

    10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening. If I'd have stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 146 Miller Drive, mine might have remained unfertilized.

    11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby; after all when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart.
     
  10. ITSX

    ITSX Member

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    Me either. How did it start anyway? Did it start all of a sudden, or was I just not very observant and never noticed it until it became rampant? Or maybe it's an anomaly... like O RLY...
     
  11. Tvmorbid

    Tvmorbid Well-Known Member

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    I dont get em either, in fact I'm not completely sure who Chuck Norris is! :lol:
     
  12. Ice92888

    Ice92888 Well-Known Member

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    Chuck Norris is the dude in Walker Texas Ranger, also in Bruce Lee's movie Way Of The Dragon.
     
  13. Fade2Black

    Fade2Black Well-Known Member

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  14. Zohair

    Zohair Formerly zohBOT

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    hahaha coool
     

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