Is that you? I think its lacking major values. Not enought lights to go with the dark and the black haze over the face gives it a low quality feel. I also dont see the connection from the text to the idea being shown.
I agree. Also the render doesn't look properly cut out. I can see that you used a C4D, but you can try to blend it in better, maybe do some smudging and add a more exciting background maybe. Could you maybe explain the link between the image and the title to me?