Agreed. Better text and placement. Try smudging your renders and filter those layers. Itll give more to it. Imo, if your render was on the other side, the focal would pop out more. (Since he has a light source on his right side)
whenever that happens you can always put an effect or something infront of it... to cover it ive done that in a few of my sigs
yeah... its better... but try covering more the cutted part, cuz we can see it through the C4D(Im guessing its a C4D), and if you take a closer look, you can see the cutted area, so try blurring/smuding the area...