Lol I love the sarcasm. I've also noticed no one seems to care about coming in here and giving some good critiques. But I might as well do something since I'm around. The first one isn't bad. Maybe I'd make it a little bit more complex on the sides or around the render to have a stronger point to focus on. The like the simplicity on the second one. I'd like to see some kind of light source though to maybe also add some contrast and have a more diverse composition.