New Sex Toy For Dem

Sometimes I love you. This is one of those times.

Sometimes I hate you. This is not one of those times.

 

So how about anal rape then?

 

if your going raping just stick a finger or two in first to check.

 

Question for you inverse, if they can get it out so easily..why don't you just stick your fingers in her first to test the waters?

Edit: Random got to the question before me.

 

im no random, im 'ban evading' ffs.

 

Stop doing the naughties.

 

well i think the raper will be in so much pain he wont have a chance to kill her or he might try taking it oout imediatly

 

Who needs to rape people anyway? Seriously.

1. Get a haircut and trim your beard. (If you've got a ponytail, cut that. Only a handful of people can rock a ponytail and not look like pedophiles)

2. Find a shirt with no holes in it (------, look in the donation bins..lazy ------s)

3. Go to a bar

4. Scope it out a bit, hang in the smoking area a little (Always easy to strike up convos in the smoking area)

5. Find the drunkest girl and strike up a convo with her (as said, easy to do in the smoking area)

6. Put on a tiny bit of charm

7. Go back to her house, bang her, make sure you leave afterwards/while she's sleeping.. unless you're SURE you can get morning sex. Don't be around when she starts to regret it.

Sex... it's easy to get.







Disclaimer:
Jokes... If she's a 10/10, a celebrity or has a boyfriend bonk her on the head and drag her to your dumpster.

 

1 - Facial hair, even full beards can easily get you laid.
2 - I've picked up chicks with holes in my underwear, my crack showing (probably my ahole through the underwear holes as well), a greased up shirt, and basketball shorts when I went out for some drinks after a day of work.
3 - Not necessary, nor is liquor.
4 - Smokers are disgusting.
5 - Again, alcohol is a crutch.
6 - Not necessary, just tell them you want to **** their brains out, kudos if you have a big penis you can pull out to show them what they are missing.
7 - Wrong. Morning sex, breakfast, and morning sex numero dos is amazing. if you can't guarantee morning breakfast / sex then you're a failure.

Bad information is bad.

No woman gives a shit about what you look like so long as you can come in confident.

 

Smoking isn't quite as disgustign as that, tbh.

 

The best parts were the sex in the shower, the all night sex, the morning sex, the morning breakfast, the morning sex 2, and when she decided to leave all on her own and wasn't clingy at all - just a simple, 'call me if you wanna do this again some time' in my ear.

More women need to be like that.

 

You sound like the guy from the comedy "the Ugly Truth"

Which I quite liked