Pretty long read, but it's kinda funny. And no, this isn't a "Bel Air" story... I was sitting with my group of friends in an apartment stairwell smoking some pot a few days ago. I got a call from my friends Zack and Chris and they said that they just parked right down the road by a Vons. So my friends and I walk over to them, only to be informed that there were 2 people talking shït to them, and they were sitting down on a bench only 20 ft. away. According to Zack and Chris, these people were competely unprovoked too. So I glance over, and all I see is a couple sitting down holding hands. The girl was short and had dark red hair and freckles (that should have given it away that she was insane) while her boyfriend was a tall, somewhat skinny nerdy looking guy. The type of person you picture lurking on 4chan. Anywho, I ask Zack what they said to them, and they were just saying "fück Santa Clarita" and stuff like that. Then out of nowhere, the red head gets up and starts walking over to us (she obviously heard what we were saying). She starts yelling at us and telling us how gay Santa Clarita is and that they're from Lancaster (a shïtty little town in the desert). At this point, we have about 7 or 8 of our friends with us while they try to start something with us. Zack tells her that none of us like Santa Clarita and that we just live here. Then this crazy bitch starts flipping out saying something along the lines of "What?! You guys are FROM Santa Clarita!! You can't talk shït on your home town!!". So this bitch is freaking out on us for literally no reason on us. Then her boyfriend walks up to us with his hand behind his back like he has a gun or knife or something, so we were all kinda freaked out by this. I'm sitting up on a small wooden fence with an apple in my hand. We were using the apple earlier to smoke out of, and it was a damn fine apple, no joke. It was perfect for smoking out of. Anyway, while this bitch is flipping out, I say outloud "Fück this, let's go blaze". Then the bitch walks over to me and starts yelling "Oh you guys wanna smoke herb?! You guys like smoking herb?!!" Then she tries to push me off the fence, and grabs my apple. She starts mashing it with her fingers and then throws it into the parking lot. I hop down off of the fence and she grabs my shirt and rips the entire thing off. So I grab this bitch and throw her to the ground. I walk up to her boyfriend and start pushing him, saying "You better control your fücking girlfriend!". I just kept saying that over and over, and every once in a while the girl would get to me and scratch my neck and face. Finally this guy pushes me back and looks like he was going to him me, so I give the guy a nice little right hook to his jaw, which started bleeding a little bit. Then before I could take another swing the red head intervenes and scratches my face. Then the guy starts walking over to Zack, and Zack just lays this guy out. Zack nailed him in the cheek and he doubled over. After he gets back up he starts charging me like he was going to tackle me, so I give him 1 or 2 uppercuts to his eye and he hits the ground. So here I am in a Vons parking lot with no shirt and scratched all over me at 5 PM. There were at least 15 people standing around watching while they were calling the cops on their phones. So me and Zack bone out to my truck and drive off to meet everyone up at a different spot. We saw a firetruck and ambulance on the way over there, so we knew that they were arrested because there is NO WAY that they were sober. Whew, what a crazy day that was.
So, I decided to take a break from lurking on 4chan and was sitting with my girlfriend, by a Vons a few days ago There were two guys sitting down on a bench only 20 ft. away. They were obviously faggots, so we started talking ---- to them. So my girlfriend glanced over, and she saw that they were obviously talking about us, now she doesn't like to be insulted by faggots, so she got up and started walking over to them and started yelling at them, Santa Clarita is ------ing ----, Lancaster is much better. By this time they had called about 10 or more friends to defend them, they were obviously afraid we would ------ them up and post it on 4chan. They ------d out and started agreeing with us and telling us that they didn't like where they lived, i mean what the ------, how can these stupid faggots ---- on their own town? So i walked over to them, i had a knife behind my back, but decided not to use it, i felt sorry for them when they ---- their pants as i walked up. So this guy had a apple behind his back, and suddenly he said outloud "Fück this, let's go blaze" , by this time we were really annoyed, ------ing druggies, so my girlfriend pushed this homo off the fence and grabbed his apple, she mashed it up so they couldn't smoke from it, then threw it into the parking lot, (stopping druggies is good for them) So my girlfriend rips this guys shirt and beats the ---- out of him, he eventually gives up on trying to fight her, as he obviously can't overpower a woman, so he comes up to me and starts shouting in my face. I pushed him back and he started hitting me. My girlfriend continued to scratch and beat the crap out of him. So here I am in a Vons parking lot with this guys shirt at 5 PM. There were at least 15 people standing around watching while they were calling the cops on their phones. So the guys ------d off and ran away, driving off in their truck. A firetruck and ambulance quickly arrived to make sure that we were okay, they made sure that we weren't drunk, then made their leave to pursue the stoners. Whew, what a crazy day that was.
