The white bars on the side are acting as distractors drawing your attention away from your focal point. The text isn't really stand out, which can be a good thing, but in this case the positioning is a little awkward. Some more colours, and maybe less sharpening, and this would be a nice tag. Sorry if I sound a bit harsh.
That is incredibly good for your 7th. I would be ashamed if I had to show people my early works. I agree about the white bars. As for the colors, you need to let the render stand out a bit more. Was it originally blue? The text would be all right if it were off the render and on the background. Not both. This one has the makings of a really nice tag. Just needs a little more work.
ya ill get rid of the bars or make them smaller and i was forced to make the render blue or else it woulda looked horrible and ya ill move the text keep the comments coming =D
Okay, I think your right about the render. If you left it as original then it wouldn't go well with the solid blue bg. Perhaps you could add a mask to the color balance layer(s?) and just ease up on the opacity some. Just enough to leave some color from the render. The reason I'm saying this is because I think you some of the red/yellow from the render came out then it would really improve this tag.
hmm ya ill do something with the color balance. what ive figured out is half the work of making a sig is fixing it .
