Over-smudged, and the colours are dull. Also, those Japanese symbols at the top left corner look bad.
the smudging is just too choppy, inverse is right, the Japanese symbols at the top look kinda bad, they are just too boxy, seems like you took them and stretched them to be larger. I've never been a fan of the different lighted boxes on a sig, and the coloring is too dull.
i think your original layout is pretty good, just executed poorly fix text and dont oversmudge is all i have to say
