It looks really neat! =D But, one thing that's bothering me is that it kind of seems too bland =/ Maybe spicing it up with some colors or effects? Nonetheless, I still really like it ^-^
The focal, at least for me, is kinda weak. I wasn't sure where to look at first. It's a good concept, but the effects seem really distracting. And also, yeah try a colored version. That could be tight.