4/10 The text is not the way to go. And the effects and whole tag just seem entirely too plain. Not much of anything.
3.5/10 It's alright. Text is bad. And the text copies make it worse. Your focal isn't all that well since it's placed too much on the right side of the tag. Try some of the great tutorials we have here at GR.
<span style="font-family:Comic Sans MS">There are plenty of C4D packs in the Resources Section. Try my tut (in my sig) and see if it helps you any.</span>