Bar Jokes.....

I'll start this thread with my fav bar joke......



A man walks into a bar. He's pretty new in town, and notices that there aren't very many women frequenting this particular bar. As he orders a beer from the bartender, he says..."Hey bartender. I notice there aren't any women in this bar". The bartender says..."Ya, we just don't get too many women here". The man says..." Well how do you go about getting laid if there aren't ever any women here?". The bartender says "Well if you're wanting some lovin....there's old man Charlie sitting down there at the end of the bar. Why don't you take a crack at getting some lovin out of him?". The man says...."What?!?! Are you crazy?!?! I ain't into that sorta stuff!!". The bartender says..."Well suit yourself then".

After a few drinks, the man is starting to get a pretty good buzz. He decides he's getting pretty darn horny, and old man Charlie is starting to look pretty good right about now. He says...."Hey Bartender. Lemme ask you something". The bartender walks over and says..."Yes?". The man says..."If I decide to go ahead and give Charlie down there some lovin. Ain't no-one else gonna know about it except for Me, You, and old man Charlie, right?". The bartender says...."Not a problem. No one will ever hear a thing about it except for Me, You, old man Charlie, and Bill and Jake, sitting over there in the corner". The man says..."What the hell?!?! Why do Bill and Jake have to know about it too?!?!". The bartender says...."Well they have to know about it because someones gotta hold old man Charlie down for you ya know. He ain't into that sorta stuff either!!". :tongue:

 

I lol'd

 

lmao, n1

 

great lol of china

 

pee yourself

great LAWL of china

 

You have an accent

 

dont get it

 

Ohh I has a good one.

Two peices of black tarmack walk into a bar and they sit down at the bar and start shouting "we're the two ------ing hardest peices of tarmack in this joint now give us a pint and we aint paying for it" Barmen looks kinda scared so he obliges. Suddenly a peice of red tarmack walks through the door and both peices of black tarmack run and cower under a table. The red tarmack orders an orange juice, drinks up and leaves. The barmen yells over "OY I thought you said you were 'ard" They reply "Yeah mate we're hard but he's a ------ing cycle path!"

I lol'd

 

lol, not as good as some i have heard though.

 

Two people walk into a bar. You think after the first one, the second one would've ducked.


still remember that from elementary school heh

 

"he's a cycle path" like a psychopath :tongue:

 

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"he's a cycle path" like a psychopath :tongue:
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It's still not funny

 

"he's a cycle path" like a psychopath :tongue:
[/b][/quote]
It's still not funny
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