don't take this as being a dick it's more that I want to help you but it seems you need a bit of study on focal point emphasis in both this one and your current it's really really hard to depict what is the focal point you do have really nice flow but just like the structure of a sentence the subject is one of the key parts that keeps the flow of the chain going. You do on the other hand, have very nice flow (I mentioned that), very good accented colors along with a strong lighting that suits the the sig as a whole. maybe try to exagerate the focal point at first by letting it stand out in value and color at first and then tone it down without taking away from the focal point itself. You've got talent know you just gotta hone the skills to perfect your style and creativity
yep, id much rather you bash the hell out of me then just tell me it looks nice. I know you werent "bashing" but you know.
i have to agree with gali think 3 depth perspetives with the focal being enhanced an not overwhelmed with effect or lighting..
Love that style of smudging. In addition to what they said about focal points... make it contrast from the bg somehow.