Family Issues

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by SomeThingCreepy, Sep 20, 2007.

  1. SomeThingCreepy

    SomeThingCreepy Well-Known Member

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    Let me start off with a small back story of what has been going on over the past year and half. My sister, she's 19 and just started her high education at Penn State. She has been seeing a guy, named Tony for since July of 2006. The relationship that they have manifested is repulsive, and this is why.

    Prior to the summer of 2006, my sister had been involved in the wrong crowd. She was drinking heavily, smoking, getting high pretty much every week, and she was still in her junior year of high school. She just plain out didn't care about herself. She let herself go.

    When the summer started, she had met an Italian guy who is 5 years older than her (she was 17 at the time, he was 22)and instantly was infatuated with his kindness and alleged wealth.

    They would hang out constantly, and do all of the things that a guy and a girl would do. He would spend insane amounts of money on her, buy her fancy purses, clothes, and my parents were loving every moment of it. He got her away from the bad habits that she was in.

    He allegedly had said that he was some soccer player on a full-ride scholarship at the American University in Washington DC. He says that his parents owned a house in George Town (very rich area of Washington D.C.) and he is very rich.

    Turns out, he did not attend college at all, and he did not own a house in George Town, instead he lived in Maryland in one of the poor "ghettos". I have no judgment on a person by where they live, but when you constantly lie and attempt to fool others around you, then something is said about your character.

    When my sister had questioned her boyfriend about the accusations, he had confessed yet only to spill out more lies. Such as he previously did attend American University yet had to drop out due to not being able to pay for the tuition. He continued to lie about things, and my sister continued to believe him.

    My sister would eventually be on the phone with him for about 10 hours every day with him, racking up the phone bills to well over $400 on just her cell phone. She would constantly be crying because of the way he has treated her.

    To make matters worse, she is obsessed with the idea that they are perfect for each other. But she is brought up in a middle class society, why she would let that go and become white trash is beyond me. She literally hates the idea of spending time with the family, and try to repair the relationships.

    The relationship with my parents and her has gone to complete ----. She refuses to take the blame on anything that happens because of her, and she refuses to even talk with them.

    Since she started school in Penn State University, she has been skipping classes, and not having a social life, just to be on the phone crying to her boyfriend.

    My parents are fed up with the phone bills that she is causing them to pay. They have decided to stop paying for the college education that she is receiving if she does not stop seeing him, and doesn't go to class. What's the point in paying for an education at a university, if you don't even bother to get it? That's the basic idea that my parents have on her.

    They have pretty much disowned her from the family. What can be done to repair the situation? I love my sister, and I don't want her to be living on the streets with some dirt poor waiter at Ruby Tuesdays who makes her cry all the time. Is all hope lost? Please, I need some help on this!

    I have emailed my sister the following:

     
  2. Bracketology

    Bracketology Well-Known Member

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    Sad, O don't know what you and your parents are going to do, If she doesn't care about here life then no one else can make her care. If someone lied to me when I was dating them, I would give them one last chance and if it happened again then I would not see that person again, But then again i'm 15 and shes already in college. Oh, and shes a girl, i'm a guy. Your parents are probably doing the best thing that they can do. Either tell her they arn't going to pay for her things when shes still dating him, eventually she should come back. At least my uncle did. Then he got caught up in another girl, and now I haven't seen him in over 4 yrs. Hes very poor, can't keep a job because he only has a high school education, and has a 2 yr old son, and hes only 21! Try and get her to see that shes ruining here life and that she needs to stop before something bad happens.
     
  3. Slappy McHappy

    Slappy McHappy Well-Known Member

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    First off, the "Lover" is a control freak. He has to constantly degrade your sister, in order to make himself feel superior. Probably got the crap beat out of him in his younger days, or was made fun of for being poor. Usually entails moving somewhere different in order to meet new people, and start lying about where he originally came from. I'm sure your sister was not his first victim, but was young enough, and gullible enough to believe him from the start. Usually after a while of being around someone for that long, it turns into not only an obsession, but a habit for your sister to be around him all of the time. Once he starts to feel as though she might be straying from him, and figuring things out on her own, the brainwashing ensues. Hence, her being on the phone with him constantly, so he can monitor her every move. He has utter and total control over her right now, and sadly, there's not much you're going to be able to say or do to reverse it. Writing her that letter may just alienate her from you, and your family........and trust me.....she will show it to him. And then he will not allow her to talk to you, because he will see you as an enemy trying to take control over what he believes is rightfully his possession. It's a power struggle between your family and this jerk. I can almost guarantee that the reason she is skipping classes is because of his jealousy. He doesn't want her in college meeting new people......they might show her the light. More than likely the only thing you can do is bide your time. Hope that she discovers the truth behind this guy, and eventually leaves him. When she finally does, she will probably try to get back together with him, but that's your moment to protect her. Maybe try to keep him from contacting her in some way. It's the cell phone era my friend, and it almost proves to be impossible, but that's the only thing I can think of at this point in time. I wish I could be of more help.......

    It's just my opinion.
     
  4. GR.Konvict

    GR.Konvict Well-Known Member

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    Go knock some sense into your sister, my brother goes out of shape sometimes, I sort him out, its my responsibility because I love him!

    Go talk to your sister for a long time and explain everything to her and force her to listen to what you have to say!

    Its her future your talking about at her stage, she will regret her decisions in the future :(!
     
  5. falling angel

    falling angel Member

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    Fun thing is my little sister just got out of one of those situations; she'd talk nonstop on her cell and was overly infatuated with him. It took sometime but they broke up. Mainly we couldn't talk to her enough and even when we did it didn't matter. She started lying and sneaking around having sex and what not. She's only 15 mainly we just waited and we started to ignore her and made her feel like she did something wrong and of course when mom found out she was having sex she got beat to all hell but we just waited. so yeah patience could be the key
     
  6. LoCkEdNsEdAtEd

    LoCkEdNsEdAtEd Member

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    first off... you should cick that guys butt :S second, if he indeed is a compulsive liar, he needs help, if he has a trauma of some sort becouse of his childhood... he needs help, he may not be that bad of a person deep down... on my opinion your parents are acting on an irresponsible way, dunno if im correct but if shes younger than 21 your parents still have control over her, and instead of paying the bills for the phone they need to take it away from her... judging from the past of your sister, her selfsteem is ----, once she starts caring for herself she will realize she doesnt need to be treated like ---- by some1 who evidently has issues... and if on your state or dunno shes old enough to be independent... well its not up to you... or your parents for that matter... its up to her all you can do, is constantly offer your help, and instead of sending an E-mail saying how much of a dip---- her boyfriend is, you should send a mail saying how much you love her and how your gonna be there for her forever, and that if she wants to change her life and start to be happy, you would be more than glad to help her... thats if you try to get her to read your mail... and please dont encourage her do use alcohol and drugs... if she finds a way to be happy at that, she WILL become an adict and make her life even worse, drugs and alcohol are NEVER a solution and dont add somethingcreepy at the bottom, its a serious conversation not a game nor a forum your posting at... how would she trust you or feel you are gonna help her if you dont take her situation seriously... btw, if she used drougs and drank alcohol, i dont think shes still a virgin, not that is anything that you should care...


    thats my opinion at least... and tell your parents that if they are not gonna even try to help to at least back off... and then again... DONT encourage drougs :S
     
  7. The_One_Gun

    The_One_Gun Well-Known Member

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    i would suggest moving, ye i knw bit staright but thats the best thing to do, first talk to ur sister then do it
    a freash star always helps out
     
  8. Leetsauce

    Leetsauce Well-Known Member

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    You need to make sentences mate. A 332 word sentence isn't cool :eek:

    I don't reall yknow what to say. But you have to be cruel to be kind sometimes. Do what you and your family have to do.
     
  9. SomeThingCreepy

    SomeThingCreepy Well-Known Member

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    she moved away to college, 400 miles away to be closer to him.
     
  10. LoCkEdNsEdAtEd

    LoCkEdNsEdAtEd Member

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    yeah sry about that, my native language is not english so making sentences for me aint that simple, i just dont know where to put the commas and dots here...


    just reminding you!, dont encourage drougs, be kind, let her know your only trying to make her feel better and love her! love is the main issue your family has, and from my psycology experience thats what you need to work on

    Hope it helps
     
  11. nivbarak

    nivbarak Active Member

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    talk with your sister
     

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