Student test A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait. Once the test was over, the students all handed the tests back. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar a point." The next class the professor handed the tests back out. This student got back his test and $56 change. Blonde Fishing There was a competition between a team of blondes and a team of brunettes to see who could catch the most fish icefishing. Once the contest started, it was clear that the brunettes were going to win -- they kept pulling out fish after fish. Soon, the blondes got worried and sent over one of their team to see what the brunettes were doing differently. A few minutes later, the blonde comes running back. "A hole! You need to put a hole in the ice!" Fast Drinker A man goes into a bar and seats himself on a stool. The bartender looks at him and says, "What'll it be buddy?" The man says, "Set me up with five whiskey shots, and make 'em doubles." The bartender does this and watches the man slug one down, then the next, then the next, and so on until all five are gone almost as quickly as they were served. Staring in disbelief, the bartender asks why he's doing all this drinking. "You'd drink 'em this fast too if you had what I have.", said the man. The bartender hastily asks, "What do you have pal?" The man drunkenly replies, "I have a dollar." Cowboy and Horse This old timer is setting on the porch of a saloon. A cowboy comes riding up and hitches his horse to the post, walks behind the horse and kisses its butt. The old timer looks in amazement and says, "Hey Cowboy why the heck did ya' kiss your horse's butt?" Cowboy: "Well, I have chapped lips" Old Timer: "So are ya' sayin' that will cure chap lips?" Cowboy: "Nope ... but it sure keeps me from lickin' em!" Goldfish Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Tim?" "My goldfish died," replied Tim tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him." The neighbor was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?" Tim patted down the last heap of earth then replied, "That's because he's inside your stupid cat."
OK.. a blonde wearing a guess shirt...i stopped her said"implants"...she slapped me MOLES The dad mole wakes up and pokes his head out the hole says "oh boy i smell shrubs"....then the mom wakes up and says "ohh man i can smell them flowers"........... then the boy(son) wakes up and says "all i can smell is malasses" (malasses instead of mole asses if you didnt get it) HAHAHAHAHAHA IM JUST TO GREAT
