1) Listen up clown 2) I'll make you frown 3) Then I'll take you to town 4) Your pants aer goin to be brown 5) Yeah you don't know nouns Oh yeah, the next Eminem right here.
Its true, you don't have to make every line rhyme. But at least half the lines should, and use it to build it up. The problem with yours is that in freestyles you gotta degrade your opponent and it really helps when you use metaphors such as "Im like Trump on the apprentice, I only fire at night" (Jedi Mind Tricks) I also find, you get way better feedback if you can rhymes 3+ lines in a row, and degrade your opponent.
Its Mr. Cheeky spittin in this post/ None of you kids can see me like a ghost/ I'm gettin bread every single day/ And I ain't even talkin' about toast/ Yeah I smoke weed and drink liquor/ But that don't mean i'm not intelligent/ So don't try to call me a dumb kid/ Because all of that is just irrelevant/ I don't claim to be the illest/ I just claim to be the realest/ I know you just readin my rhymes/ But you can still feel this/ I'm a little ----ed in the head/ So these bitches say i'm demented/ Niggas be hypin' up drug dealing/ But me, I just resent it/ They call me a criminal/ But I aint never harmed anyone else/ I just do my own thing/ I only stick to myself/ Best believe this was typed on the spot/ Like a fiend on the rock/ A hustler on the block/ A killer with a glock/ You ain't nobody til your body drop/
