Yeah so I feel like giving away 50 credits. Post up a joke, a sig you made for me or just about anything and whoever's is the best gets 50 credits.
A blind man makes his way to a bar stool and orders a drink. After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things: 1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat. 2. The bouncer is a blonde "biker girl." 3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate. 4. The woman sitting next to ! me is a blonde and a pr ofessional weightlifter. 5. The lady to your right is blonde and a pr ofessional wrestler. Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?" T he blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin." "What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?" "Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be. Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me. Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up. Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver. Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not. Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it. Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it. Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it. Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!" "Good," said the new husband, "but, why?" "You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"
Two nuns are painting the inside of a room and they did not want to get paint on their habits. So after deciding to take of their habits the two women continued to paint the room, nude. After several minutes theres a knock on the door. "Blind man". The nuns thought about for a minute and decided a blind man won't see them nude. They opened the door, the man shouted "WOW NICE TITS!" "Heres your window blinds.". yeah it's not good but I tried. I forget what the nuns' uniforms are called, I'm pretty sure it was habit.
Dumb one I found a while ago: Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near an abandoned gas station. They approached one of the gas pumps, and one of the aliens addressed it. "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader." The gas pumps of course, didn't respond. The alien repeated the greeting. Again there was no response. The alien, annoyed by what he perceived to be the gas pumps haughty attitude, drew his ray gun, and said impatiently, "Greetings earthling. We come in peace. How dare you ignore us in this way! Take us to your leader, or I'll fire!" The other alien shouted to his comrade, "No, you don't want to make him mad!" But before he finished his warning, the first alien fired. There was a huge explosion that blew both of them 200 meters into the desert, where they landed in a heap rather abruptly. When they finally regained consciousness, the one who fired turned to the other one and said, "What a ferocious creature. It damn near killed us! How did you know it was so dangerous?" The other alien answered, "If there's one thing I've learned during my travels through the galaxy, when a guy has a dick that he can wrap around himself twice and then stick it in his own ear, you don't mess with him."
Redneck Pickup Lines: 1) Did you fart, cause you blew me away. 2) Are your parents retarded, 'cause you sure are special. 3) My Love for you is like diarrhea ... I can't hold it in. 4) Do you have a library card, 'cause I'd like to sign you out. 5) Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I can see myself in them. 6) If you and I were Squirrels, I'd store my nuts in your hole. 7) You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away. 8) Man - "Fat Penguin!" Woman - "WHAT?" Man - "I just wanted to say something that would break the ice." 9) I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed-rock. 10) I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room. 11) Your eyes are as blue as window cleaner. 12) If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon. 13) Your face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up.
ok i got a good one its not hard to find j00 in a large crowd, u just gotta look for the ugliest guy :wub: u know its an amzing joke/insult whatever u wnaa call it
