Redneck Letter...

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Death, Feb 9, 2005.

  1. Death

    Death Senior Member

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    Dear Son,

    I'm writing this slow 'cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so we moved. Won't be able to send you the address as the last Arkansas family that lived here took the numbers with them for their house, so they wouldn't have to change their address.

    This place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in it, pulled the chain and haven't seen 'em since.

    It only rained twice this week, three days the first time and four days the second time.

    The coat you wanted me to send to you, Aunt Sue said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with them heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

    We got a bill from the funeral home, and it said if we didn't make the final payment on Grandma's funderal bill, up she comes.

    About your sister, she had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether if it is a boy or a girl so don't know if you are an Aunt or Uncle.

    Your Uncle John fell in the whiskey vat. Some men tried to get him out, but he fought them off playfully, so he drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.

    Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pickup. One was driving and the other two were in the back. The driver got out. He rolled down the window and swam to safery. The other 2 drowned. They couldn't get the tail gate down.

    Not much more news this time. Nothing much happened. If you don't get this letter, please let me know and I will send another one.

    Love, Ma
     
  2. mttviper

    mttviper Well-Known Member

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    Rofl, couldn't get the tailgate down. HAHA sounds like where i live XD. Hsaha nice one anyways.
     
  3. 0racle

    0racle Well-Known Member

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    rotfflmao
     
  4. Joe

    Joe Well-Known Member

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    hahahha thats some funny ---- man, that made my night
     
  5. DaZZ

    DaZZ Well-Known Member

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    thats funny as :censored:
     
  6. scandalous

    scandalous Member

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    omg you must be kiddin rofl
     
  7. the_phenom

    the_phenom Well-Known Member

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    yeah i read this on ebaums this is mega funny :lol:
     
  8. Phat Albert

    Phat Albert Well-Known Member

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    Stupid rednecks.
     
  9. Flamesy

    Flamesy Well-Known Member

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    OMG!! ROFL!!
     
  10. Bona Fide

    Bona Fide Well-Known Member

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    Sigh...I think rednecks are an insult to America. :P
     

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