<span style='font-family:Arial'>Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic. "Why?" asks the father. "The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3?' and I said '6'" "But that's right!" "Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'" "What's the fuc*ing difference?" "That's exactly what I said!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Teacher: "Sam, what is the outside of a tree called?" Sam: "I don’t know." Teacher: "Bark, Sam, bark." Sam: "Bow, wow, wow!" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If you can touch it and you can see it, it's REAL. If you can touch it but you can't see it, it's TRANSPARENT. If you can't touch it but you can see it, it's VIRTUAL. If you can't touch it and you can't see it, it's GONE. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Diner: Watch out! Your thumbs in my soup! Waiter: Don't worry, Sir, it's not that hot! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Little farmboy comes in late for school. Teacher asks why he's late. Farmboy replies that he had to take the family cow over to the neighbour's to get her bred by a bull. Annoyed, teacher demands, "Can't your father do that?" Little farm boy thinks for a moment: replies, "Well, sure... but the bull can do it better." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A little boy is in school working on his arithmetic. The teacher says, "Imagine there are 5 black birds sitting on a fence. You pick up your BB gun and shoot one. How many blackbirds are left?" The little boy thinks for a moment and says, "NONE!" The teacher replies, "None, how do you figure that?" The little boy says, if I shoot one, all the other birds will fly away scared, leaving none on the fence." The teacher replies, "Hmm, not exactly, but I do like the way you think!" The little boy then says, "Teacher, let me ask you a question. There are 3 women sitting on a park bench eating ice cream cones. One is licking her cone, another is biting it and the third one is sucking it. How can you tell which one of the women is married?" The teacher ponders the question ncomfortably and then finally replies, "Well, I guess the one sucking her cone." To which the little boy replies, "Actually, its the one with the wedding ring, but I do like the way YOU think!" </span></span>[/b][/quote]</span></span>
