Creation By Computer

The Box Eater · May 14, 2006 at 11:28 AM

THE CREATION

In the beginning there was the computer. And God said
c:\>Let there be light!
Enter user id.
c:\>God
Enter password.
c:\>Omniscient
Password incorrect. Try again.
c:\>Omnipotent
Password incorrect. Try again.
c:\>Technocrat
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.
c:\>Let there be light!
Unrecognizable command. Try again.
c:\>Create light
Done
c:\>Run heaven and earth
And God created Day and Night. And God saw there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Monday, March 2.
c:\>Let there be firmament in the midst of water and light.
Unrecognizable command. Try again.
c:\>Create firmament
Done.
c:\>Run firmament
And God divided the waters. And God saw there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Monday, March 2.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.
c:\>Let the waters under heaven be gathered together unto one
place and let the dry land appear and
Too many characters in specification string. Try again.
c:\>Create dry_land
Done.
c:\>Run firmament
And God divided the waters. And God saw there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.
c:\>Create lights in the firmament to divide the day from the night
Unspecified type. Try again.
c:\>Create sun_moon_stars
Done
c:\>Run sun_moon_stars
And God separated the light from the darkness. The sun ruled
over the day and the moon and stars ruled over the night.
And God saw there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.
c:\>Create fish
Done
c:\>Create fowl
Done
c:\>Run fish, fowl
And God created the great sea monsters and every living creature
that creepeth wherewith the waters swarmed after its
kind and every winged fowl after its kind.
And God saw there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Friday, March 6.
c:\>Create cattle
Done
c:\>Create creepy_things
Done
c:\>Now let us make man in our image
Unspecified type. Try again.
c:\>Create man
Done
c:\>Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth and
subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea
and over the fowl of the air and over every living
thing that creepeth upon the earth
Too many command operands. Try again.
c:\>Run multiplication
Execution terminated. 6 errors.
c:\>Insert breath
Done
c:\>Run multiplication
Execution terminated. 5 errors.
c:\>Move man to Garden of Eden
File Garden of Eden does not exist.
c:\>Create Garden.edn
Done
c:\>Move man to Garden.edn
Done
c:\>Run multiplication
Execution terminated. 4 errors.
c:\>Copy woman from man
Done
c:\>Run multiplication
Execution terminated. 2 errors.
c:\>Create desire
Done
c:\>Run multiplication
And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn
Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
c:\>Create freewill
Done
c:\>Run freewill
And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn
Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
c:\>Undo desire
Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.
c:\>Destroy freewill
Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
c:\>Help
Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.
Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
c:\>Create tree_of_knowledge
And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn
Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
c:\>Create good, evil
Done
c:\>Activate evil
And God saw he had created shame.
Warning system error in sector E95.
Man and woman not in Garden.edn. 1 errors.
c:\>Scan Garden.edn for man, woman
Search failed.
c:\>Delete shame
Shame cannot be deleted once evil has been activated.
c:\>Destroy freewill
Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
c:\>Stop
Unrecognizable command. Try again
c:\>Break
c:\>Break
c:\>Break
ATTENTION ALL USERS *** ATTENTION ALL USERS: COMPUTER GOING
DOWN FOR REGULAR DAY OF MAINTENANCE AND REST IN FIVE
MINUTES. PLEASE LOG OFF.
c:\>Create new world
You have exceeded your allocated file space. You must destroy
old files before new ones can be created.
c:\>Destroy earth
Destroy earth: Please confirm.
c:\>Destroy earth confirmed
COMPUTER DOWN *** COMPUTER DOWN. SERVICES WILL RESUME
SUNDAY, MARCH 8 AT 6:00 AM. YOU MUST SIGN OFF NOW.
And God logged off at 11:59:59 PM, Friday, March 6.

On March 8, God created the Macintosh.
Click to expand...

Boxiom · May 14, 2006 at 11:32 AM

Cool

Fitz · May 14, 2006 at 11:33 AM

pwnd i love it, where'd you find it?

The Box Eater · May 14, 2006 at 12:15 PM

Originally posted by Fitz@May 14 2006, 04:33 PM
pwnd i love it, where'd you find it?

[snapback]2486655[/snapback]
Click to expand...

http://www.plaidworks.com/chuqui/blog/000343.html

^Thur^

xlink · May 14, 2006 at 3:00 PM

I've come to the conclusion that we fvcked up God's computer program.

Jynx_ · Aug 10, 2009 at 1:18 AM

JESUS ------ING CHRIST.

Lefthanded · Aug 10, 2009 at 1:56 AM

Meh.

Jynx_ · Aug 10, 2009 at 2:08 AM

Read ops sig.

---- HOUSES.

Nicasus · Aug 10, 2009 at 3:28 AM

You mean God was too stupid to use a PC?
As I have no problems with my PC I can now consider myself smarter than God :D

Lefthanded · Aug 10, 2009 at 3:31 AM

Too bad god doesn`t exist lololatheist

Jynx_ · Aug 10, 2009 at 3:50 AM

OP is me.

Lefthanded · Aug 10, 2009 at 4:25 AM

OP is me.[/b]
Click to expand...

O YOU

Zohair · Aug 10, 2009 at 2:58 PM

Cost of Arms.

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Creation By Computer

The Box Eater Well-Known Member

Boxiom Well-Known Member

Fitz Well-Known Member

The Box Eater Well-Known Member

xlink GR's Tech Enthusiast

Jynx_ Banned from GR

Lefthanded Gentlemen of Leisure

Jynx_ Banned from GR

Nicasus Well-Known Member

Lefthanded Gentlemen of Leisure

Jynx_ Banned from GR

Lefthanded Gentlemen of Leisure

Zohair Formerly zohBOT

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Creation By Computer

The Box Eater Well-Known Member

Boxiom Well-Known Member

Fitz Well-Known Member

The Box Eater Well-Known Member

xlink GR's Tech Enthusiast

Jynx_ Banned from GR

Lefthanded Gentlemen of Leisure

Jynx_ Banned from GR

Nicasus Well-Known Member

Lefthanded Gentlemen of Leisure

Jynx_ Banned from GR

Lefthanded Gentlemen of Leisure

Zohair Formerly zohBOT

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