This is my first ever script for my first short movie ever (well, aprt from a few mini movies that Ive made with my mates) What do you think? Working Title Scene 1 We see a side shot of three boys sitting at a table, looking very bored. There is another boy sitting at the back of the room. One of them is biting a pen while lighting a cigarette lighter. One of them is scribbling and the other one is sitting up straight , with his hands on top of each other looking very tidy, while the others look very scruffy. A teacher comes in the room and the boy who was drawing quickly scambles to put the piece of paper away, while the boy with the lighter keeps on lighting it. He slowly walks towards the three boys and stops. He trys to grab the cigerete lighter but just as he does, the boy puts it in his pocket. This boy sarcastically smiles at the teacher. Teacher: Ok boys, I hope I don’t see you in here again. He walks over to the boy that looks very smart and says Teacher: And especially you Ben…. Scene 2 Ben is walking with the other two boys down the street. Ben: Its all your fault I was in that detention! If it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t of been tempted to lock all the girls in the changing room! James chuckles James: Hey, a detention is a detention, but hearing all those girls scream was so funny! Elliot: Yeah, and none of them knew it was us! Ben: Except when the teacher saw us and gave us all detentions! Anyway, that detention will ruin my record of no detentions! A boy walks on screen chanting to them Rob: HAHAHAHHA, YOU GOT TOLD BY THE TEACHER. HAHAHA, YOUR GONNA GET ON REPORT. AHAHAH! Elliot steps forward and grabs him by his t-shirt Elliot: you wanna say that to my face? Rob stutters Rob: Uuumm, uuhhh, nope… Elliot knee’s him and he runs off. Rob: Ill get you one day!!! Scene 3 Three boys are standing around on the field. One of them has a cigarette. Elliot: Hey, Ben, do ya want a a smoke of this? Ben looks disgusted Ben: Uumm, let me think. No. I don’t want to go into a test smelling like smoke. Elliot: You never take any risks… James: Oh shi- We see and hear a car going past and cant hear James swearing James: We have a test? Elliot: Dude. Don’t worry about it. Its only one small test. Ben: No, you stupid idiots, am I the only person here that isn’t insane? This is a important exam. I don’t want to fail my GCSE’s. I mean, I’ve heard from my parents that if you don’t do well in your GCSE’s, you cant into a good university, or a college. Elliot: Pf, you don’t need to go to college. Ben, Yes you do!I mean, look at us. Weve been at this school for 5 years, and we haven’t learnt a thing! Elliot: Look at Richard Branson, he didn’t go to college! Ben: Yeah, but look at all the millions of people you DON’T hear about every day on the news, the people that didn’t go to college. Elliot: I don’t care what you think. If I’m a great architect and I design a great building and I go to a builder they wont say ‘Oh no, just because you didn’t pass one tiny little exam you wont be able to build this’ will they, WILL THEY? Ben: You know what your problem is Elliot? You cant work. You just around all lesson, and don’t do any work. You try and make everyone in the class laugh. But you know what, when you are looking for some job, they wont care about what jokes you can tell, they will care about what qualifications you have, like GCSE’s. And ya know what, they wont earn themselves. Elliot: You know what the problem is with you Ben? Its that you CANT RELAX. You go on about how ‘you should get good grades so you can get a good job’, but I have one word to say to you. ‘RELAX’. That’s what you cant do. Ya know what? Your…. Pauses Elliot: You’re a neek. Ben: A neek? Oh, by neek you obviously mean someone more intelligent than yourself. So, what are you? Well, I would say that you’re a lazy git who cant be arsed to do a thing. Elliot: Shut up you idiot. You don’t want to be in a bandage for this exam, do you? Elliot steps towards Ben Ben: Oh, so your threatening me now? James: Look, just calm down. The bells ring and it fades to black They are walking out of the exam Ben: How do you think you did? Elliot: So so Pauses Id like to see you in 20 years time Elliot and James…. Fades to black The End I need a name, any ideas?
not bad but it sounds to much like a moive i seen before dont get me wrong good script but i think you need to work on it a bit more before a title will come , i have worked on stroy lines before for anime creation with friends and the hardest thing is to try and keep things orginal , but still keep at it .
I like it.. I was expecting this to be pretty crap (No Offense Man), but I really liked it.. I think you need to work on the ending a little more though.
kinda an abrupt ending. Also, I think you should desribe the characteristics of ben, james, and elliot. From the story you can already tell ben is a smart guy, and the other 2 kinda lay back, but they are all similar. Reminds of this one story, Beacon Hill Boys. but, this shouldnt matter since it's gonna be a movie, not a story. Um, titles..... A day like any other Just another day Life lessons In 20 Years lol I dunno pretty realistic situation tho, nice work
