I hate drama I hate girls (for now) I hate women (for now) I hate alcohol I hate drugs I hate ambulances I hate straight razors I hate suicide I hate hospitals I hate irresponsible parents I hate irresponsible teens I hate guns I hate Bush I hate morons in power I hate immature ----heads I hate people who criticize other people who are known to have coping issues I hate being a crutch for my friends to lean on ALL THE ----ING TIME I hate people crying I hate war I hate unemotional people This list WILL grow over time. Those things bolded red ones are the big ones for tonight. Tell me if you see something in common between all of them and tell me what would have inspired me to write this?
partially correct... ill let it go until i can see the screen visibly enough to type a long enough explanation of the events that took place with one of my friends tonight...
"I hate girls (for now) I hate women (for now)" Do you hate me? Seriously though, what happened? (btw, I agree on most of those. Except instead of I hate people who cry, for me it's more like "I hate being so easily upset that I cry for no real reason".)
right now, yes, because they are the major source of all drama in my life. I swear its because of you girls that guys sometimes force themselves to be/act gay/bisexual. Lets see... what happened, this is going by a suicide note and his parents information in the call they gave to me... My friend tried calling me, and I didnt answer the phone because I didnt feel like talking to anyone, so he talked to his parents about how some kids at school were making fun of him for his sexuality (he was gay) and alot more than usual (he got his hair cut, his books thrown around, letters to his boyfriend photocopied and posted around the school) and his parents basically told him to suck it up... He went into their alcohol cabinet, grabbed two full bottles of vodka, went to his moms medicine cabinet and took her perscription sleep pills (unno the brand) with the alcohol, took his straight edge razor blade and slit his wrists. He took 3 means of suicide to guarentee he didnt have to put up with the schools bull----. Most of all, I feel guilty because I am the one person all my friends lean on and I was being selfish in not wanting to pick up the phone (my friends only CALL me if its extremely important, I hate the phone and they know it). This isnt the first time he had taken an overdose of drugs and drank excessively, so when the parents called 911, they basically took it as a "boy who cried wolf" scenario, and didnt treat it seriously despite his unconsciousness and vomitting in the ambulance. Within minutes of reaching the hospital, wrists wrapped, stomache pump tubes and charcoal nostril tubes almost fully into his stomache, he flatlined. He killed himself because of the ----ing preppy ass rich bitch pricks that believe homosexuality is wrong and constantly made his life hell (between everything, they were ALWAYS picking on him). I almost feel its my fault for not being there for him...
Holy ----..... First and foremost I will stress that it's NOT. YOUR. FAULT. Don't blame yourself. You had no idea what was going on. If you had picked up the phone it might have still happened anyway. I...really don't know much else to say. I've had friends attempt suicide, I myself suffer from severe depression and have attempted it three times in my life...but I've never known anyone who actually killed themself. I can sort of empathize with what you're probably feeling but I know I can't totally understand it as I've never been in your particular position myself. But ---- man, I'm sorry
i cant say its alright... but its a common occurance around here, just last year there was a student at a neighboring high school (a relatively large high school, considering it had a dual level parking structure) who was gay and basically the same thing happened to him. He was my ex-g/fs best friend and woke up one morning, cleaned out his locker, checked out of school at lunch with his belongings in his trunk of the car and shot himself with his dads pistol on the second story of the parking garage. a lot of homosexual students around here get picked on and bullied by the rich homophobic pricks around here and im getting sick and tired of it... ima go and lay down and listen to music for a while, ill probably be back sometime tomorrow... thanks for the sympathy minx, it helps, it really does... and ive been in the boat with attempted suicide too... but its a few memories i dont like looking back on...
That's just horrible. My high school was pretty bad on bullying like that, but it never got THAT bad because there were people (some of whom I'd never imagine) who would - and did - stick up for anyone who was getting crap because they were gay or bi. Thankfully so far as I know no one ever got to that point. It's really terrible that it does, and that people can be so cruel to someone over their sexuality. People who bully others over that need to wake up and realize that they're people as well. It really sickens me that stuff like that happens Try and rest, stuff that's highly stressful (and this is definitely high-stress) really wears people out fast. Even if you can't rest, just relax, listen to music, etc. It'll help calm you, as I'd imagine you're pretty high-strung right now from everything. And yeah, stuff like that is certainly not fun memories to go back and think about. (I'm also currently a psych student planning on specializing in the effects of depression, so between my studies and personal experiences this is a subject I'm quite well-versed in)
heh, we have alot in common im working towards a major in psychology and a minor in software design with a degree in computer science... (very hard setup of classes to get right, i basically have no personally selected classes, and yes, im only 17... i got expelled, then got my GED and im going to a community college for two years then I am off to a university - i dropped out of the university due to costs) anywho, ill be back on tomorrow, my last post for the night... go and watch a movie and fall asleep... thanks for your sympathy again minx...
