Perhaps you've been thinking that it might be time to relocate. The big question is: where? Here are some tips: I found this. You can live in Phoenix, Arizona where..... 1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade. 2. You can open and drive your car without touching the car door or the steering wheel. 3. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl. 4. You would give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face. 5. You can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top. 6. "Dress Code" is meaningless at high schools and universities. Picture lingerie ads. 7. You can drive for four hours in one direction and never leave town. 8. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food. 9. The four seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!! 10. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face as you open your oven door. You can live in California where... 1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house. 2 The high school quarterback calls a time-out to answer his cell phone. 3. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway. 4. You know how to eat an artichoke. 5. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party. 6. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is. You can live in New York City where... 1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan. 2. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building. 3. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map. 4 You think Central Park is "nature." 5. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual. 6. You've worn out a car horn. 7. You think eye contact is an act of aggression. You can live in Maine where... 1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco. 2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas. 3. You have more than one recipe for moose. 4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons. 5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction. You can live in the Deep South where... 1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store 2."Y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural. 3. After five years you still hear, "Yo! u ain't from ' round here, are Ya?" 4. "He needed killin' " is a valid defense. 5. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, Mary Beth, etc. You can live in Colorado where... 1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car. 2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops at the day care center. 3. A pass does not involve a football or dating. 4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail. You can live in the Midwest where... 1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name. 2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor. 3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day. 4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?" 5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different!" Or You can live in Florida where... 1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon. 2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars. 3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist. 4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state. 5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.
I dun now I got it in a email my big cuz send to me.I thought it was funny. You can live in New York City where... 2. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building. 5. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.
Haha funny. I have a good one about chicago,where I pretty much live... My kind of town - Chicago Seasonal Differences in the regions of the USA: 60 degrees - Floridians wear coats, gloves, and woolly hats. Chicago people sunbathe. 50 degrees - New Yorkers try to turn on the heat. Chicago people plant gardens. 40 degrees - Italian cars won't start. Chicago people drive with the windows down. 32 degrees - CHICAGO--NO PLACE LIKE IT! Distilled water freezes. Lake Michigan's water gets thicker. 20 degrees - Californians shiver uncontrollably. Chicago people have the last cookout before it gets cold. 15 degrees - New York landlords finally turn up the heat. Chicago people throw on a sweatshirt. 0 degrees - Californians fly away to Mexico. Chicago people lick the flagpole and throw on a light jacket over the sweatshirt. 20 below - People in Miami cease to exist. Chicago people get out their winter coats. 40 below - Hollywood disintegrates. Chicago's Girl Scouts begin selling cookies door to door. 50 below - Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Chicago people get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg. 60 below -- Microbial life survives on dairy products. Illinois cows complain of farmers with cold hands. 460 below - ALL atomic motion stops. Chicago people start saying. . "Cold 'nuff for ya??" 500 below - Hell freezes over. The Chicago Cubs win the World Series You must learn to pronounce the city name. It is Shi-ca-go, or Sha-ca-ga depending on if you live North or South of Roosevelt Rd, respectively. Next, if your road map is more than a few weeks old, throw it out and buy new one. If in Naperville and your map is one day old, then it is already obsolete. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Chicago has its own version of traffic rules... "Hold on and pray." There is no such thi! ng as a dangerous high-speed chase in Chicago. We all drive like that! All directions start with, "I-94" ... which has no beginning and no end. The morning rush hour is from 5AM to noon. The evening rush hour is from 3PM to 10PM. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed out and possibly shot. When you are the first one on the starting line, count to five when the light turns green before going to avoid crashing with all the drivers running the red light in cross-traffic. Construction on the Northwest Tollway is a way of life and a permanent form of entertainment. We had so much fun with that we have added the Elgin O'Hare Expressway (which oddly enough doesn't go to Elgin OR O'Hare) and I-355 to the mix. All unexplained sights are explained by the phrase, "Oh, we're in Cicero!" If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably a factorydefect. Car horns are actually "Road Rage" indicators. All old ladies with blue hair in Mercedes have the right of way. Period. First Ave, LaGrange Rd, NW Highway, all mysteriously change names as you cross intersections (these are only a FEW examples). If asking directions in Cicero you must have knowledge of Spanish. Bridgeport is southside limits If you stop to ask directions on the West or South side you better be armed. A trip across town (east to west) will take a minimum of four hours, although many north/south freeways have unposted minimum speeds of 75. The minimum acceptable speed on the Dan Ryan is 85. Anything less is considered downright sissy. The wrought iron on windows near Englewood and Austin is not ornamental. The Congress Expressway, commonly referred to as the Eisenhower Expressway is our daily version of NASCAR (though often at speeds that don't exceed 5 mph). The Dan! Ryan is called "The Death Trap" for two reasons: "death" and "trap."! If i t's 100 degrees, it's Taste of Chicago. If it's 10 degrees and sleeting/snowing, it's opening day at Wrigley Field. If it's rained 6 inches in the last hour, the Western open Golf Classic is in the second round. If you go to Wrigley Field pay the $25.00 to park in the "Cubs Lot." Parking elsewhere could cost up to $2500 for damages, towing fees, parking tickets, etc. If some guy with a flag tries to get you to park in his yard, run over him. Chicago, there's no place like it!??? Sad thing is, thats entirely true ^_^
the stuff about florida and the deep south kind of clash against each other sence florida is the southest in the usa and south florida is only filled with old people and some bums but north florida is like pure redneck so really if u go so south u go into a civilized area and yes i do live in florda and i have been to alot of differnt places
